The Mind of a young one (chapter 1)

 I wake up with the taste of regret in my mouth... i think if the life i am living is worth it. I look in the mirror think what can I become i wonder if i should of helped her when she was... My mother walks in she is in a happy mood today she is so nice when she wants to be. She is wearing her red lipstick to early in the morning. Then in that moment I knew dad was coming home some people want a dad but trust me you don't want one like mine. I hear the door ring and its him. Its sunday the excuse of going to school doesn't work these day so i guess i will have to stay home with him. As he stands infront of me I see clouds ready to let go, a face of a liar behind that smile and the smell of cigarettes sneaking through his breath. I go to the bathroom (the only place i hide) as i look in the mirror I think is this my life ? why do people say i am lucky ? why do people say i was brave that night ? I get out the bathroom and past by my grandmothers room that has been turned into my mom's mini gym. She would tell me i would be someone big in this world. she is gone now so the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that i will be turning 18 next year just one more year of suffering so i can suffer alot more in the... 

"real world"